Beautiful Things Are Not Like What They Seem

Beautiful Things Are Not Like What They Seem

          Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

          Everything has happened to me all my life whether it is happy or sad. I am one of the persons who are struggling to build up a new better life. In one side, sometimes I feel like I am a pointless one. I am not as happy as what I seem, nither do I feel like I am a good one. Sometimes, mood swings come up to me, but actually I never want. I have no idea on what something happened to me. Things were going crazy. I am occasionally stressed out by bad things that happened to me which make me cry and feel inferior about myself. My thoughts in my brain really can kill me slowly.

          Sometimes, I need somebody to help me to give me positive vibes that I want to deal with. Sometimes, my family don’t even understand me fully as I want they do. Yeah, only me, the one who really cares about and understand myself and things, whether they are bad or good, and of course God does too.

          I often don’t sleep well and make me not excited in carrying out my daily activites that I am supposed to do. I often think of people’s opinions towards me for every single post that I share there eventhough they never tell me directly, whether on social media or in reality.

          I don’t know why I am so addicted to social media which I usually share things with my followers and contacts which are in my Instagram and What’sapp accounts. I sometimes feel like  want to share anything there eventhough I know that it is not way too important to share, which I mean I wanna share it just for fun or entertaine people there, such funny pictures or something, and I just want people laugh and feel entertained eventhough I am not too entertained and laugh out loud. I just don’t want to express the feeling that I am feeling at one time. I knew that everybody must be thinking that I am such a silly or childish or innocent or ratchet person. Whatever it is, I actually don’t care about it, but sometimes whispers haunt my mind which they say that I am a fool, bad, pointless or something bad. That’s really annoying!

          You know, sometimes devils whisper in my ears and make me feel like I am nothing, pointless, useless and get angry easily. I am like, “What the heck!”

          I know that I always don’t feel bad or sad. I sometimes get (so) excited, happy, fresh, have positive vibes or feel so calm. I sometimes can inspire, motivate and give people who are into depression or excessive sadness some positive vibes and spirit of life. I really like hearing people who want to share anything about their lives, which I can take any lessons from them. I love being a good listener rather than being a talkative one sometimes. When I am hearing somebody speaking, I am feeling like I am an useful one to his/her life.

          Back to the social media topic again. I am not a type of person who likes sharing anything about my life with people on social media actually. It’s just a privacy that I should keep. People must be thinking that I am too ratchet which I share anything on my Instastories or What’sapp statuses. Those are used to make me feel entertained, and I think I never and won’t ever share negativity on social media like hatred, body-shaming, racist words or anything bad.

          So, please don’t let me down by your negative words, and please make me aware with what I’ve done if it is bad, inappropriate or useless if If you think like that. I really don’t need any negative words that you want to share, neither do I want you to hate me because you know, I am such a sensitive person sometimes and can get depressed at those though. Please wake me up in your beautiful ways. If you are polite and nice to me, I will be more polite and nicer to you, Insha Allah, and we can make positive friends. However, if you are rude to me, I will leave you and know who you really are. That’s all! I hope you are able to understand me, and so do I.

          Thank you very much for reading my long article for today. Actually, I didn’t want to vent here, but I just wanna share about things that can make me build up my new better life with you here. So, bye! See you on my other article next time! Assalamualaikum.